Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
1-800-RU-CRAZY?
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
Thank you and have a nice day!



13 Jun 1999
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