RIDDLES: Nursery Rhymes Retold (by today's scientists)

Our 5th grader brought this home from a class in school today. (Kids are smart these days.) I suppose it's from a book somewhere, so don't try to profit monetarily from its electronic form.

Answer key...if needed...at end.


1. A female of the Homo sapiens species was the possessor of a small immature ruminant of the genus Ovis, whose outermost covering reflected all wavelengths of visible light with a luminosity equal to that of a mass of naturally occurring microscopically crystalline water. Regardless of the translational pathway chosen by the Homo sapiens female, there was a 100% probability that the aforementioned ruminant would select the same pathway.

2. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction taken by the first team member.

3. A young male human was situated near the intersection of two supporting elements at right angles to each other; said subject was involved in ingesting a saccharine composition prepared in conjunction with the ritual observance of an annual fixed-day religious festival. Insertion into the saccharine composition of the opposable digit of his forelimb was followed by removal of a drop of genus Prunus. Subsequently, the subject made a declarative statement regarding the high quality of his character as a young male human.

4. A geriatric human female proceeded to a storage compartment for the purpose of procuring a fragment of osseous tissue from an unidentified deceased specimen to transfer to an indigent carnivorous domesticated mammal, Canis familiaris, family Canidae. Upon arrival at her destination, she found the storage compartment in denuded condition, with the consequence that the indigent carnivore was deprived of the intended donation.

5. A human female, extremely captious and given to opposed behavior, was questioned as to the dynamic state of her cultivated tract of land used for the production of various types of flora. The tract components were enumerated as argentous tone-producing agents, a rare species of oceanic growth, and pulchritudinous young females situated in a linear orientation.

6. Complication arose during an investigation of dietary influence; one researcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue, and another was unable to consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fibre. By a reciprocal arrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viands under consideration was achieved, thus leaving the original container of the viands devoid of contents.

7. A triumvirate of murine rodents totally devoid of ophthalmic acuity was observed in a state of rapid locomotion in pursuit of an agriculturalist's uxorial adjunct. Said adjunct then performed a triple caudectomy utilizing an acutely honed bladed instrument generally used for subdivision of edible tissue.

Answer key (read backwards)
4. drabbuH rehtoM dlO
7. ecim dnilb eerhT
3. renroH kcaJ elttiL
6. ttarpS kcaJ
2. lliJ dna kcaJ
5. yrartnoc etiuq ,yraM ,yraM
1. bmal elttil a dah yraM

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