MEDICAL SLIPS REVEALED
What follows is a collection of items taken from actual medical interview records written by various paramedics, emergency room receptionists and (we are afraid) the occasional doctor or two, all from major US hospitals.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
--from Bob Hall's Cyber Chuckle site