- Calvinists believe the game is fixed.
- Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.
- Quakers won't swing.
- Unitarians can catch anything.
- Amish walk a lot.
- Pagans sacrifice.
- Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.
- Televangelists get caught stealing.
- Episcopalians pass the plate.
- Evangelicals make effective pitches.
- Fundamentalists balk.
- Mormons are in left field.
- Dunkers are down by three.
- Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.
- Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.
- Baptists want to play hardball.
- The Pope claims never to have committed an error.

13 Jun 1999
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