SPIRIT OF THE GAY CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY Do we witness the Spirit of God? or the spirit of this age?
Part of the answer is a conviction that the Bible's testimony against homosexual behavior applies to all forms of same sex relationships -- even committed partnerships. (An article on this; also Willard Swartley's bibliography on this.) And we want our denomination to be a "people of the Book," ones who obey and uphold the authority of Scripture. The Word written as witness to the Word in Christ is to be taken with deepest seriousness. But, again, why draw a line at this issue? Normally we leave room for persons who interpret the Bible differently from us -- for instance, on the issue of women in ministry. So why not with congregations who believe the Bible leads them to "bless monogamous relationships of same-sex couples"? Here is the answer I would give. When I look at the gay Christian community, there is something I see (and I'm not referring to their same-sex behavior) that helps to remove the uncertainty and tentativeness from my interpretation of passages like Romans 1:26-27. This perception increases my certainty that the Bible's condemnation of same-sex intercourse applies to today's same-sex partnerships. And it increases my sense that this community will one day be seen as having limited themselves to only probationary participation in our church. This perception has had a huge impact on me.
Permissive abortion, widespread adultery, easy divorce, radical feminism, and the gay and lesbian movement have not by accident appeared at the same historical moment. They have in common a declared desire for liberation from constraint--especially constraints associated with an allegedly oppressive culture and religious tradition. They also have in common the presuppositions that the body is little more than an instrument for the fulfillment of desire, and that the fulfillment of desire is the essence of the self.Surely the gay Christian community chooses to counter the sexual revolution in significant ways. But I still see major accomodation to the spirit of this age in the gay Christian community. I'm not talking about where practice falls short of ideals -- all Christians fall and need grace there -- but where ideals themselves are dropped in a dynamic that is clearly contrary to the Spirit of God.
There are many indications that sexual exclusivity does not characterize even Christian gays in long-term committed relationships.
There is high incidence of promiscuity among gays in general (statistically it approaches 100% in some studies, even among those in long-term relationships). Christian heterosexuals do not do much better than nonChristians (there's not much difference between the rates of divorce, abortion, premarital sex rate for Christians and nonChristians). Should we assume Christian homosexuals do better?
How recently have we heard gay persons in the church talking about sexual exclusivity? Though their straight supporters talk about same-sex partnerships as monogamous, gays themselves rarely talk that way. Few (if any) Christian gay groups have publicly said that they hold each other to the standard of faithful monogamous relationships. The lesbian and gay concerns group in my denomination has not written any expectations of sexual exclusivity. Nor could they point me to any Christian gay/lesbian communities which had.
Ones who do speak on the subject tend to come out against it. For instance, Presbyterian minister Chris Glaser (well-respected leader in the Christian gay community; a devotional book of 365 readings from his writings has been published) says that fidelity does not mean being sexually exclusive, that fidelity really means only keeping your promises. Malcolm Macourt (early leader of the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement in Britain) wrote that all of these alternatives are equally valid: monogamy and multiple partnerships; partnerships for life and partnerships for a period of mutual growth.
Another instance occurred on a denominational e-mail discussion group (MennoLink) in October 1998. A participant assumed that all could agree that "sexual intercourse is meant for two people in the context of a committed, covenanted, monogamous relationship." A gay who is active in our denomination responded: "I am unwilling to define this as God's universal purpose for sexual intercourse. Even the Bible tells of people (e.g., Elkanah, Samuel's father) who had more than one partner with integrity. While monogamous, committed, covenant relationships may reflect the dominant trajectory of biblical values, there is enough complexity there to prevent me from automatically judging negatively those who do not fit the pattern." He went on to try to distance himself from promiscuity, but he had also distanced himself from monogamy.
In the Fall of 1996 when I first began to wonder how strongly Christian gays valued monogamy, I gave some gays opportunity (via private e-mail) to correct my impression about this. They did not. This may have been because I chose the wrong way to talk with them (I've talked with many people on this). But it nonetheless added to my impression. Further conversations continued to add to it. One Christian gay who spoke unabashedly of his commitment to monogamy went on to tell me that the Dialogue newsletter mailed several times a year by the lesbian and gay group in my denomination (Brethren/Mennonite Council for Lesbian and Gay Concerns) cannot lift up the standard of monogamy because there are too many in the group who question the need for sexual exclusivity in committed relationships.
Some point out that when the church gathers around a gay or lesbian couple and honors their commitment to each other, the church can then encourage that relationship toward wholeness and faithfulness. But not if the couple themselves do not have monogamy as their goal or ideal. And it appears that the moral expectations of gay couples, even those who are Christians in long-term relationships, seldom include monogamy. Such a lack of sexual exclusivity is a glaring indication of the spirit of this age in same-sex partnerships.
The heterosexual Christian community does not have a laudable track record on monogamy either. But, whatever its percentage of lifelong monogamous partnerships, it is way above zero. All Christian heterosexual communities would say that monogamy is their standard, and seek to call and encourage one another toward this standard.
[Note: I am not intending to communicate that if monogamy is present in a same-sex partnership, that then it is wholesome and holy. The way we determine the rightness or wrongness of homosexual sex is by gathering around the Bible and reading and applying it with the Spirit's help. I am using the absence of monogamy (and, even more, the absence of a standard of monogamy) as a way of getting a reading of the general "spirit" of the gay Christian community.]
Another mark of the dark spirit of this age within the Christian gay and lesbian community is their affirmation and support of bisexuality. They ask the church to broaden discussions of inclusion to involve persons who are bisexual.
The masthead of the BMC Dialogue newsletter says it is published "to increase support for gay, lesbian, and bisexual people." Almost by definition bisexuals are not monogamous. Christians support this?!
When the gay Christian community works to support bisexuals, they are not being led by concerns of justice -- one cannot say that bisexuals are losing out on a basic human experience if they are denied same-sex intimacies. Their primary concern, rather, is a choice to participate in our culture's fixation on sex and material pleasure.
The Fall 1995 issue of Dialogue was devoted to bisexuality and included an article by a lesbian/bisexual entitled "Dancing with Souls." The Summer 1996 issue included this letter to the editor:
These two marks of the spirit of this age in the gay Christian community have had a huge impact on me:
- If sexual exclusivity is not valued and honored by the gay Christian community, then they are clearly distancing themselves from accepted Christian values. And I become increasingly certain that this community is also precluding themselves from full participation in our denomination.
This change would affect me greatly. I would still be personally convinced that homosexual sex is wrong because of
my understanding of the Bible. But my degree of certainty would be less, and I would be much less vocal in my denomination.
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